i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
