You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
