she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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