i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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