You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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