we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
