wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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