i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize