you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
