Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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