If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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