You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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