what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
