i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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