If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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