One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
