I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize