On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
