I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize