I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
