apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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