I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
