In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the condom got lost in my hair
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
