She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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