Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
