a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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