He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
