what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
