if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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