just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
