his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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