he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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