it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.