We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.