dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.