Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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