It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
