If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
