Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I will be naked everywhere
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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