you traded sex for a burrito?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
