how can u be prego again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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