Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
BRING THE BAGELS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
