Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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