My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
40s are totally the cure
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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