I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
