is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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