The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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