i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
