I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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