i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My feet surprised me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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