so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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