Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
