road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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