Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
being pregnant is like rehab
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
