Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jerry, you need to find god
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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