Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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