im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
