Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
