Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
