I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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