Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
