To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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