be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've blown a few things in my day
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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