If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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