Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
