I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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