The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
