YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
