I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
