I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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