I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize