It's Friday. Sex?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There are leaves in my underwear?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
